where feet may fail

Many people have labeled me a dreamer. And that is sorta true. At least, half of me is a huge dreamer and the other half... Well, its complicated... ;) Generally, I tend to be a person who thinks they can accomplish anything... until someone or something comes along that says,

 "Yeah... No. Sorry, but you're just not good enough."

 In the times of limited faith that ensue, I become more prideful than anything else. Thinking only of myself and my abilities, I blind myself to the greatness of God and His ability to work through me. And, unfortunately, these times have sometimes almost controlled my life. 

When I'm thinking like this, I get incredibly narrow-minded and self-willed. It's really quite annoying. And, I hope I'm not the only one to suffer from "too-big-of-an-opinion-of-oneself." Maybe you are like me and you're wondering where this chronic disease comes from. Well, to be honest, I think the name kinda speaks for itself. :P

A friend of mine posted a quote from C.S. Lewis a few weeks ago and it blew me away.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." - C.S. Lewis

Its so simple, right? And yet it is so annoyingly difficult. But anything worth having is also worth struggling for. 

I say all this to admit... I struggle. Yes, I know. Strange, isn't it? I'm finding out that each of us struggle with things and no one person is exempt from that, but also each person's struggle is a little unique. My struggle, for example, is probably a lot different than your struggle. It may be similar though, and that' s why I'm writing this. 

However hard my struggle (or your struggle) is, it is not what we should be focusing on! So many times, I'll sit on my bed with my latest grievance fresh on my mind and have a little pity party to myself... <---This doesn't help in the least. What helps is when I go to the Lord in prayer and search His Word for strength and comfort. And when I go to Him, I find out that He doesn't want me to just sit on the bed of my life waiting for something to happen.

I am always trying to figure out a way that "I" can better myself, or "I" can get rid of my sin, or "I" can get more people saved. And, I'm going to let you in on a little secret... my plans never work. But His plans? They always work! And I know He has plans for me:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." {Jeremiah 29:11}

My job isn't to be the most brilliant, the most perfect person, or the best evangelist. If it was, I'd never do anything but sink in my own incompetence. Thankfully, my job is just to commit my "plans" to the Lord.

"Commit your plans to the Lord, and your work will be established." {Proverbs 16:3}

He could call me to walk through storms or drift on peaceful seas, but whether I know what's going on or not, I do know it will be for my good {Romans 8:28}.

This picture reminds me of a song:

"You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery. In oceans deep, my faith will stand. And I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace. For I am Yours, and You are mine... Spirit, lead me where my faith is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, that my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." {"Oceans" by Hillsong United}

{Beautiful Things}

"You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us..."

    These past two weeks, over and over I’ve witnessed the beauty and glory of the love and joy that comes from being a child of the Most High. Mainly I seem to find it in the simple things of life that mean so much more when you are secure for eternity. Take for example a simple tea break from that school load you’re working on. Then, a smiling toddler waddles up to you crying, “Boo! Boo! …Boo?” (Translation: Boo=Book). So, you take a small part out of your busy day to read to your brother. Next example, you are sitting around in the living room earlier in the morning watching each member of your family slowly come up or down stairs to collapse on the couch, or sit at the table staring outside like a zombie. Then breakfast is ready and everyone slowly comes to life and shuffles toward the kitchen. If you are awake enough to enjoy the scene, it can be quite entertaining. But, it also reminds me of how very fortunate I am to have the family that I have and that I can take a moment to bask in the blessings of God. 

Simple things… A hug or smile, helping with school,  an unexpected clean room, all these are fantastic ways to spread the love of God with your very own family. Family is so important! It is where we learn, grow, and it’s a picture of God’s very own family. Remember this, tomorrow and forever: love.  That’s it. Love. It’s a beautiful thing.

Ramblings on love...

1 John 4:7-8 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 

John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” 

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 

Colossians 3:12-15 "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."

It's pretty obvious that we're supposed to love one another, right? *expectant Dora face while waiting for answer* Right! Great job you guys. Awesome conclusion ;). 

So, I don't know about you, but I kinda find it hard to love people some times... Especially the people closest to me. People hurt us, people abandon us, people return evil even with all the good we try to give them. But, we're still supposed to love them.... Ugh. So hard. 

People will always disappoint and wound us, that's just part of being finite human beings. Unfortunately, we are all VERY far away from perfection... As in, if perfection was Washington, D.C., we'd be Mars.... Or the sun... Or whatever is really far away from it.

But! God will never, ever, ever, ever stop loving us. You know that, I know that. But, have you ever really tried to grasp it all? Its mind blowing! He won't stop. Even if we commit the most heinous act anyone could imagine, He'll still love us. Unconditionally. 

Yesterday, I was leading worship for our mime group like I do every Monday. The last song was "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman. I really thought about those words for the first time. It's really true... He won't ever let go. Even when I'm confused/hurt/don't have any idea why what's happening is happening, He's sovereign. He's always got a plan!

When I put that in perspective with people, it helps me to actively love them more. I think, 'If God loves me who's the chief of sinners, surely I can love other people. And if I can't, then He will help me.' Obviously, I'm not very good at loving people yet... I've got a LONG ways to go, a lifetime really. But guess what? Grace. <--It's awesome. And: Unconditional love. <--It's awesome too. 

Anyway, that's been the simple sum-up of my rambling thoughts this past day...week...year.


~Rebekah

Unplanned plan =)

"Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established." ~Proverbs 16:3

New year resolutions are so not fun. I mean, first of all, I never can think of good ones. As in, I usually know that I completely messed everything up multiple times the year before, but I normally can't pinpoint one thing to fix it. So, this year New Years passed and I didn't give it a second thought, mainly because I was busy... Then, on the sixteenth, I happened to read this verse and I thought "Ugh... I probably should ponder this. What a bother..." 

Not really... I was actually more excited about it. Most of the time, I like having to think ;). 

Usually when I start planning or dreaming or looking forward to the future, I think BIG. So  once I finally bring all my scattered thoughts to my parents/sister/best friend, it sounds completely crazy and unrealistic. Which is quite unfortunate because they really are great plans! Okay... back to my previous thoughts about the... thoughts. 

One of the first things I asked myself was this: Where do I want to head this year? And then of course my mind goes in about eight different directions. Do I mean spiritually? Emotionally? Behaviorally? Mentally? Physically? What about plans for the future? Who do I want to be then? and... etc. So I started with the easiest one, obviously: plans for the future. Gotta love 'em. 

This time, things didn't happen the way they usually happen. Usually the way I "plan" is I'll sit down and write down what I want to do and then think through pros, cons, improbabilities, and so forth. This time, however, I sat down and... Nothing. My mind was completely blank. 

So, I prayed. "God, um, I've got nothing. I have no idea what you want me to do. I don't know where you want me to go, how I'm supposed to do whatever it is... I am so lost. Can you plan it for me?"

This was probably the one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me... I sat there and gradually things came to my mind, and they just kinda flowed. I don't know how else to explain it. And, it kept coming. 

In about fifteen minutes, I looked down and realized that I (well, not me... God) had filled a whole page with a detailed summary of how I was going to spend 2014. And, it wasn't a lot of big stuff, like everywhere I was going to go and exactly how things were going to happen. It was more of small things I could do on my own to further my own studying of God's word, encouraging others, and some small things to help me get started on possibly becoming a recording artist. <--That is something I've disregarded for a while. I figured that would be one of the really crazy unrealistic ideas that everyone would scoff at.  When I read it, I think my reaction to myself looked something like this:

To be honest, its always hard for me to relinquish my control over...anything. But, God has been showing me this whole past year that He is sovereign and in control. He is God and I am not.  This, I trust, will be another true test of my faith in God to take care of all the little details. So, God has shown me what I am to do and where I am to work. What about you? 

Amateur

Hi. 

So, I am pretty new at this… As in, I’ve actually never done any writing before, of any kind. So, bear with me ;).

My name is Rebekah, and the only things that sets me apart from any other person is my salvation in Jesus Christ. My purpose in writing this blog is to bring a smile to your face, some peace to your troubled spirit, some joy to your heart, and probably some grimaces to your face if you read my writing… ;) I’d also like to change the world eventually, but I think I should get started on a smaller scale. To give you a better picture about who I am (or can be at times), here are some random facts about me:

1~ I kind of like being cold… Because then, you can get warm ;).
2~ I enjoy smiling quietly
3~ I don’t know whether I’m an extrovert or introvert… I might just be an ambivert…
4~ I like movies, but only certain ones. I am a very picky movie person. Some movies give me a weird feeling in my stomach… Even good ones sometimes. It’s strange.
5~ White store bread makes me sick.
6~ When I was younger my hair used to be a unique reddish brownish blondish color.
7~ My favorite smells in the world are: pine sap on your sweatshirt, Daddy on Sunday mornings, tomato vines in freshly-tilled moist dirt, oranges, mint plants, wood smoke, autumn, kerosene heaters, and Mom when she’s been baking.
8~ My Language of Love is “Encouraging Words”.
9~ I love singing. Even though my voice isn’t that good, when I sing, I feel like I have this power to do something big. Like, change the world. Yes, I know. That’s weird.
10~ I have an innate fear of creepy, crawly, twitchy things. Bugs, beetles, snakes, worms, that sort of thing. It’s even worse when their slimy…
11~ I am horrible at using concordances. Which is awful when I’m trying to prepare a bible study…
12~ My favorite soundtracks are LOTR and Narnia and How to train your Dragon. Especially Narnia. Especially LOTR. And especially How to train your dragon…
13~ I get scared of the dark sometimes.
14~ My two biggest sin problems are selfishness and pride. Which basically covers all of them ;).
15~ I HAVE been to Boston in the fall.
16~ I think stars are the most beautiful part of creation. The oceans are a close second.
17~ My favorite feeling is when I’m lying in bed and I’m enveloped in thick, soft quilts and only my nose is exposed to the crisp morning air. Pure delightfulness.
18~ I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up… Yet.
19~ My favorite colors are peach, deep blue, and a softer shade of red.
20~ I like plaid scarves… A lot :)

And this last thing that I hope you know about me is this: I am a daughter and servant of the High King over all kings, and my life goal is to be able to say while I’m dying, “I have wholly served the Lord. And I love him with everything I am.”

As you see, I’m not really anything different from many other young, struggling Christian girls out there. I may even be a bit less cool, more clumsy, less fabulous than most. But, thats okay because, you see, I have found a true comfort and security in my Savior, Jesus Christ. The Father is my Father. Jesus is my Best Friend. The Spirit is my Guide. And through me, maybe He’ll change the world. That would be awesome.

1 Corinthians 1:1-2 says this: "And I, when I came to you, brothers, I did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. ² For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”I want this saying to be true in my life. I want to be able to say in all sincerity and honesty: “I have decided to know nothing among you except for Jesus Christ and him crucified!” My prideful self often wants to take the credit for whatever things God has done in my life, but I think I’m slowly learning… 

Through reading this, I hope you are encouraged. Maybe you’ll think, “Oh! Thank goodness I am not the only silly person on this planet!” If so, rest assured. There are a ton of us ;). Anyway, enjoy! 

I feel like I should say something like, “I hope you enjoyed your visit, come back soon. There is always room for you here, at… Desert Streams.”  ~Credit (Lamplighter Theatre)

{Rebekah}